I feel like a cripple....

...and with every step I take, I am waiting for the joint to go out again;
for the inevitable downfall in front of everyone.

You would think that I would get used to the feeling of complete & total embarrassment; that the snickers, if only in my head, would lesson over time, as webbing and weaving of years & memories would fade the voices.

But I still hear them as close and clear as yesterdays kindergarten teacher changing me in the school bus in front of all students after falling in the pond; and the shame that ensued.


When will these limbs heal?


When will I go on?


I hear of stories, miraculous marvels, that make impossible seem tangible; that meld fiction into normalcy, and usher fantasy closer than early morning wake up calls.

I hear these stories.....and I groan.
For all that I love in life is in such stories as these.
Where white is always good & all the black is wrong.
Where my heart leaps at every page turn;
for in such stories...I am more than I am.


How I long 'till I AM THE HERO?



....Hell, these days I'd settle just for walking straight!